Breaking the Cycle of Over-Functioning: A Guide for Your Empowerment

In our fast-paced world, doing significantly more than others, while they seemingly manage much less, has become increasingly common. This behavior, known as over-functioning, often goes unnoticed but can have profound effects on your mental health and overall well-being. While this is an issue that can affect everyone based on what’s happening around them, it disproportionately affects women and people of colour. Over-functioning is especially critical for Black women and women of colour, who often face multiple layers of adversity. Highlighting how over-functioning influences these groups, as well as the broader population, is essential. Through this focus, we can begin to develop and apply strategies that empower individuals and drive significant change.

In this blog, we’ll explain what overfunctioning is, give examples of what it looks like, and help you reflect on your personal patterns.

Understanding Over-Functioning

Over-functioning can be described as taking on more responsibilities than necessary, often at the expense of your health, mental health and personal time. This pattern is deeply entrenched in societal expectations and pressures, especially for black women and women of color. History has shown us that to be seen, heard, and valued, the bar is often set higher for these groups, turning over-functioning into a survival strategy buffering against harmful stereotypes and systemic barriers.

My Own Over-Functioning

I can personally relate to this because, for too long, I found myself saying yes to everything. From leading every diversity initiative at work, organizing events for every cultural celebration month, to being the person everyone would text for career advice — no request too small, no committee too time-consuming. All this was done not in the pursuit of recognition, but because I felt like I had to, because I felt responsible and if I didn’t do it, who would? And if no one did, then what? I didn’t even know, which made me feel drained beyond my last drop and under a kind of pressure that I couldn’t quite put into words.

This was always without additional compensation, squeezing dry the little downtime I had left. This wasn’t just a habit; it was my reality, reflective of the pressures faced by many in our communities, striving twice as hard in an effort to make sure that others felt seen and supported. And with time I came to understand that I too was overfunctioning. Which is why I can deeply empathize with you in this experience.

Reflecting on Your Patterns

The first step toward breaking the cycle of over-functioning is reflection. It’s important to pause and consider the areas of life where you might be over-extending yourself. Is it at work, within your personal relationships, or perhaps in your role within your family? Understanding that this reflection is not about self-judgment but about awareness that can lead to significant insights into why you’re over-function and how it impacts your life.

Ask yourself if this is about:

• You needing to be seen, heard and valued?
• Could it be about you having to do everything to support your family and/or community?
• Could it be about you feeling like you’ll be left holding the bag if things go south?
• Could it be a combination of those things?
• Or something else entirely?

These are questions to ask yourself and reflect on.

Reclaiming Agency & Helping to Build it Within Others

Recognizing your patterns of over-functioning is a powerful step towards reclaiming your agency. This realization allows you to ask crucial questions about your motivations and the societal pressures that may drive you to overextend yourself. By identifying these factors, you can start to make conscious choices about your behaviors, learning to set healthy boundaries and allowing yourself to make space for your well-being.

When you consistently take on the bulk of responsibilities, even with the best intentions, it can unintentionally limit opportunities for others in families, teams, and communities to grow and share their unique contributions. This can unintentionally hold back the collective strength that comes from everyone sharing responsibilities and bringing different ideas to the table.

By choosing to step back sometimes, we create a more supportive space where everyone can thrive. This helps prevent people from getting too overwhelmed and builds a community where cooperation and mutual support are at the heart. This kind, collaborative approach doesn’t just help individual groups or teams; it also enriches families and communities. Together, we can build strong, sustainable environments where everyone’s efforts combine to maintain long-lasting success and well-being for everyone involved.

For Black women and women of color, this stepping back is even more meaningful. It creates a space where you can break away from those heavy expectations and really take the time to build resilience, both for yourself and within your community. This doesn’t happen overnight — it takes practice and patience, but the outcome is so rewarding. Everyone becomes stronger and more capable, contributing to a healthier, more supportive environment for all.

Are there times we may need to use this strategy?

It’s important to thoughtfully consider the impact of over-functioning, especially for black women and women of color.. Reflect on whether these extensive efforts truly serve your goals, such as achieving a promotion or gaining recognition that you need. This mindful evaluation empowers you to make choices that align with your needs. If over-functioning is beneficial, continue with purpose. If it proves unnecessary, there is profound strength in choosing to step back. This allows you room to develop in ways that are enriching and sustainable, nurturing your well-being and challenging the systemic expectations that may demand too much from you.

In our next blog I’ll provide you with actionable steps on how you can put this into practice! These steps are born from the rich reflections and experiences shared by myself and my clients as we’ve navigated tendencies to overfunction over the years.

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